i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
