I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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