I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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