I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
