Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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