made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
