I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Boobs are out for the taking
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
