She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
