I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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