Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
