Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
