Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Someone shit on the floor
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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