she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
