The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
