Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
sex in a hospital.. check
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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