i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
