doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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