So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
