I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
