my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
