apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
