Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
