You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We left an ass print on the piano.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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