I will die if light touches me.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
