is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
