No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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