You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
