Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
