We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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