she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
pray to the hookup gods
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
