i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
