I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Randomize
