I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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