Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
