how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
