I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
