Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
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