That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize