wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
