After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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