around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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