my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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