I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
