There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
