I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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