3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I cannot find my penis.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
