Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
false alarm. still invincible.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
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