oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
