It was confusing and full of hummus
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
There's always time for handjobs
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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