I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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