And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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